Just start

I just need to start. This doesn't have to be permanent but I need to begin somewhere.

I over think everything and I can't get out of my own way. It feels like I need to do things perfectly from the start or else it's proof that I am somehow defective. I've had this feeling most of my life...okay, if I'm being real...all of my life.

I've never been good with the concept of practice, sure I understand both intellectually and in theory, that practice is how we learn and grow and get good at anything. Practically though, I make no allowances for myself to "practice", if I struggle with something for longer than is comfortable, I check out. I used to believe I was a quitter, I grew up being told that I quit things when they were hard. I took that message to heart, so much so, I basically made it my identity.

I say all of this because I don't want this to be my story any longer.

I have to actively participate in creating a different narrative.

I don't know exactly where I am going. I don't know what I want this blog to become.

All I know is that I can no longer keep myself in the dark.

What I've written is not perfect, honestly I don't know if it makes any sense but it doesn't really matter. I will post this and will continue posting until I write myself into a life full of greatness.